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| Packing up a life to start fresh in a completely unfamiliar country is where the real education begins. |
Let me start with something honest.
When I first landed in Singapore, I was very young. Too young, maybe. I had lived in Kathmandu for about two years, but that was still a big jump. From my village to Kathmandu was one change. From Kathmandu to Singapore felt like stepping into another universe.
Back then, my village had no telephone. No internet. Nothing. When I went to Singapore, my father brought a wireless telephone to our home. That was huge for them. But email? Internet? They did not know what those things were. Even today, they only know how to turn data on and off, receive WhatsApp, Viber, and Messenger calls, and sometimes click on Facebook or YouTube videos. That is all.
I went to cyber cafes in Singapore. Not to talk to my family, because they had no internet. I went to talk to some friends who lived in Kathmandu. And honestly, we were crazy. We went to cyber cafes without any real intention. We surfed the internet without any real idea of what we were doing. We joined Yahoo Messenger just to see who was online. It was aimless. It was innocent. It was nothing like today.
Now you cannot find cyber cafes in most towns. Technology has reached another level. Students today have everything in their pocket. But back then, I was truly alone. No constant connection to home. No WhatsApp calls to my parents. No video calls. No Facebook groups full of advice. I just went. With hope. And fear.
Sometimes I look back and it feels like a dream. How did I do it? How did I survive with so little connection and so little information?
I have moved across the world many times. Singapore, South Korea, London, Portugal, Denmark, Belgium. I studied only in Singapore and London. The other countries, I went to work full time. I went to language classes to learn the local language. But every move taught me something. And every move came with harsh lessons.
I am not writing this as someone who read about studying abroad. I am writing this as someone who has lived in seven countries, worked kitchen jobs because my language was not good enough, made visa mistakes, run out of money, and still kept going. That is the difference.
This is what nobody tells international students before they leave home. I wish someone had told me.
1. Your New Country Will Not Work Like Home
In my village in Nepal, if I needed help, I asked an elder. They guided me. In Singapore, no one guided me. I was expected to figure things out alone.
I assumed banks worked the same. They did not. I assumed housing contracts were flexible. They were not. I assumed people would explain things slowly for me. They did not.
The first week in Singapore, I did not even know I needed a local bank account. Nobody told me. I carried cash and assumed that was enough. It was not. I made that mistake for longer than I should have. And back then, there was no YouTube tutorial to help. You learned by making mistakes.
The hardest lesson: your home country blueprint does not work here. You have to learn a new system from scratch.
What Helps
Before you arrive, use the incredible technology available today to study your destination. We did not have it when I started, but you do. Make these practical steps your absolute priority:
- Watch videos made by international students in your target city.
- Join local Facebook groups to ask specific questions about housing and banking.
- Assume nothing; verify everything through official channels.
2. The Real Cost of Living Is Much Higher Than You Expect
I calculated my budget before moving to London. Rent. Food. Transport. I felt prepared.
Then I arrived. Deposit was two months' rent. Utility bills were not included. Transport required a deposit for the card. I needed a winter coat because I underestimated the cold. My phone broke. My visa needed extending. Every week brought a new unexpected cost.
In Singapore, I was young and naive. I did not even know what questions to ask. I learned about hidden costs the hard way, by running out of money and feeling ashamed.
Students usually budget for three things: rent, food, and tuition. But nobody budgets for the deposit you pay before you even move in. Or the utility bills nobody mentioned. Or the winter coat you realize you need during your first week. In a mid-sized European city, expect to spend between 825 and 1,300 euros per month when you count everything honestly. For expensive cities like London or Singapore, add 30 to 50 percent on top of that.
Please note that the data in the table below is approximate. Costs vary constantly, so you must research multiple real-world sources for the specific country and city you are moving to. The daily reality in a small student town will look vastly different from a major financial capital.
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| Estimated monthly budget framework for an international student in Europe. |
Detailed Monthly Budget Breakdown
Cost (Euros/Month)
- Rent (shared): 400–600
- Utilities (electricity, water, internet): 50–100
- Food (home cooking): 150–200
- Transport pass: 40–60
- Health insurance: 50–80
- Phone plan: 15–25
- Study materials: 20–50
- Personal / small shopping: 50–100
- Emergency buffer: 50–100
Total: 825–1,315
What Helps
Before you go, find recent international students in that city. Ask: "What costs surprised you?" Add 25% to your estimated budget. Save an emergency fund of at least 1,000 euros. If you do not use it, great. If you need it, you will be grateful.
3. Speaking Only English Can Limit Your Life Abroad
I told myself: "Everyone speaks English. I will be fine."
In Singapore, that was mostly true. In Portugal, it was not. In Belgium, it is partially true, but doors close when you do not speak Dutch.
The worst part was not the practical difficulties. It was the isolation. Sitting with coworkers who laughed at jokes I did not understand. Avoiding phone calls because I was afraid. Feeling stupid every time I opened my mouth.
In Portugal, I could not get an office job because my Portuguese was weak. I worked in a restaurant kitchen instead. Not because I was not qualified. Because I could not speak the language. That is a lesson I carry with me even today.
I went to language classes in Portugal, Denmark, and Belgium. Not for a degree. To survive. To function. To feel less like an outsider.
What Helps
Learn the local language before you arrive. Not to fluency. To survival. 100 words. Basic phrases. How to order food, ask for directions, apologize for your bad language. Then continue learning after you arrive. One hour a day. No excuses. Treat it as seriously as your job or degree.
4. Waiting Until Graduation to Think About Your Career Is a Huge Mistake
I thought: "I will focus on my studies first. Career can wait until second year."
That mistake cost me years.
In Singapore and London, I was a student. In other countries, I worked full time. But everywhere, the pattern was the same: the students who built experience early succeeded faster. The ones who waited struggled.
I had good grades. I had no portfolio. No network. No local experience. My transcript was from another country. Employers did not know my university. They did not know my grading system. They did not know me. A piece of paper means very little without proof of what you can actually do.
What Helps
From month one, spend 2 to 3 hours per week on career building. Update your LinkedIn. Visit the career center. Go to one networking event per month. Do one small project related to your field. Volunteer for a student organization. Build one piece of proof every month. A blog post. A small project. A volunteer experience. A sample of your work.
In Belgium, I started writing these blogs. They became my portfolio. They showed my thinking, my writing, my consistency. That proof opened doors that my grades alone never could.
5. Online Job Applications Alone Usually Do Not Work
I spent weeks applying online for jobs after arriving in London. More applications equal more chances, I thought. I was wrong.
Week after week, nothing. I checked my email constantly. I refreshed my inbox. The silence was heavy. I felt invisible, like I did not exist in this city at all. Then I learned the truth: online applications have the lowest success rate of any job-seeking method. Everyone applies online. Your CV sits in a pile of hundreds. Nobody sees you.
My first office job in London did not come from a website. It came from a friend of a friend who mentioned my name in a conversation I was not even part of. One name. That was all it took.
What Helps
Use online applications as a secondary method, not your primary. Primary methods: referrals from people you meet, attending career fairs, messaging alumni on LinkedIn for advice, directly emailing hiring managers with a short and specific message. The internet makes it easy to apply. It also makes it easy to be ignored. Real relationships still matter more.
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| Reflecting on the journey during my early days of navigating life and studies abroad. |
6. Study Systems Abroad Can Be Extremely Demanding
In Nepal, I could study a few days before an exam and pass. In Singapore, that did not work.
Continuous assignments. Weekly readings. Group projects. Presentations. Participation grades. If you fall behind in the first month, you spend the rest of the semester catching up. Some students never catch up.
The grading system was different. The expectations were different. The pace was different. I spent my first few weeks just trying to understand what was being asked of me, not the content itself.
What Helps
Treat your study time like a job. Set a schedule. Study at the same time every day. Use a calendar. Hand in assignments early if you can. Go to office hours even when you do not have questions. Show your professors that you are serious. They remember the students who show up before there is a problem, not only after.
7. Bad Visa Advice Can Destroy Your Future
I trusted what other students told me about visa rules. "You can work 20 hours per week," one said. "No, it is 15," another said. I did not check the official source. I guessed. I was wrong.
I was lucky. My mistake did not get me deported. But I have seen it happen to people I know. People who worked a few extra hours. People who forgot to report an address change. People who assumed something was fine because a friend said so. Their futures in that country ended because of small mistakes that felt small only until they were not.
A visa mistake is not like a late assignment. There is no second chance.
What Helps
Never trust visa or legal advice from other students unless they show you the official government source. Bookmark your country's immigration website. Read every document they send you. Ask your university's international student office for help. When in doubt, ask someone official. The few minutes it takes to verify could save your entire future in that country.
8. Social Media Makes Student Life Abroad Look Easier Than It Really Is
Today, students see photos of others traveling, partying, smiling in perfect cafes. They compare their behind-the-scenes to someone else's highlight reel. They feel like failures before they have even begun.
When I arrived in Singapore, I could not see any of that. Social media barely existed. I went to cyber cafes and talked to friends in Kathmandu. We had no idea what anyone else was doing. I could not compare myself to anyone. That was a blessing I did not know I had.
The loneliness I felt was real. But I processed it and moved forward. Today, students feel the same loneliness but they also see a constant feed of people who look like they are doing everything right. That combination is dangerous.
What Helps
Stop comparing. Seriously. Unfollow accounts that make you feel bad. Remind yourself that social media is a performance, not reality. Focus on your own small wins. A passing grade. A new friend. A meal you cooked. These are real. They matter.
If you feel overwhelmed, take a break from social media. Go for a walk. Call a real friend. Remember that no one posts their lonely nights, their failed exams, or their tears. What you see online is the best ten percent of someone's life. The other ninety percent looks a lot like yours.
9. Depending Too Much on Home Can Slow Your Growth
I could not call my family for every small problem. There was no WhatsApp. No Viber. No Messenger. My parents had a wireless telephone, but they did not know what email was. They did not know how to use the internet.
I was truly alone. That forced me to solve problems by myself. It was hard. Scary. But it made me independent faster than anything else could have.
Today, students can call home every hour if they want. That connection is beautiful. But it can also become a crutch. When something goes wrong, the first instinct is to call home. Your mother tells you what she would do in Nepal. Your father gives advice from a world that is nothing like the one you are living in now. You hang up feeling comforted but no more capable than before.
What Helps
Even if you can call home easily today, try to solve one problem by yourself each week. Call the landlord alone. Go to the bank alone. Figure out public transport without asking for help. Each small victory builds confidence that nobody can give you. Your family is there for big emergencies. For small problems, trust yourself. That trust is what will carry you.
Conclusion: The Reality Nobody Talks About
Here is the truth about studying abroad that no one tells you.
You will make mistakes. You will run out of money at least once. You will feel lonely. You will question your decision. You will want to go home.
That does not mean you are failing. It means you are learning.
Every international student who came before you felt the same way. The ones who succeeded are not the ones who avoided mistakes. They are the ones who kept going after making them.
Sometimes I look back at that young boy who went from a village with no telephone to Kathmandu, and then from Kathmandu to Singapore. No WhatsApp calls home. No video calls. No Facebook groups. Just hope and fear and the courage to try. And I survived. Not because I was smart. Because I kept going.
You can too.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should I do during my first days abroad?
Get a local SIM card so you have data and calls. Take photos of your visa and passport and store them online. Find the nearest supermarket and pharmacy. Locate your university's international student office. Open a local bank account as soon as possible. My first week in Singapore, I did not even know I needed one. Do not make that mistake. Register your address with local authorities if required.
How can I deal with homesickness abroad?
Create small routines that feel like home. Cook a familiar meal. Call family on a schedule, not every hour, because constant calls can make homesickness worse, not better. Find one local food you enjoy. Join one student club, even if you feel shy. Remind yourself that homesickness usually peaks at three to four weeks and then slowly fades. It will not feel this intense forever.
Is cash-in-hand work safe for international students?
No. Cash-in-hand jobs are often illegal and can violate your visa conditions. If you are caught, you can be fined, deported, or banned from re-entering the country. Work legally, even if it pays less. The risk is not worth it.
Final Thoughts
Studying abroad is hard. Harder than any brochure will tell you. But it is also worth it.
You will learn things no classroom can teach. You will become stronger than you knew possible. You will look back one day and realize that the hardest moments were the ones that shaped you most.
Do not give up before that day comes.
With love,
- Bitty
🙏❤️
Brugge, Belgium 🇧🇪
From a village with no telephone to Kathmandu. From Kathmandu to Singapore. From cyber cafes with no real intention to building a life across seven countries. You are not alone. Keep going.
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| The quiet view of a massive city - a familiar sight for international students facing the hidden challenge of isolation. |
Confronting the Invisible Battle
The hardest part of this journey isn't the empty bank account or the difficult exams. It is the quiet moments in your room when the sun goes down, the city outside feels entirely unfamiliar, and you realize how far away home truly is.
Almost every student goes through this, but almost nobody posts about it on social media. We need to talk about the real mental shift it takes to survive that silence.
Recommended Reading for You:
📚📖 The Loneliness Nobody Talks About as an International Student
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