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| Every journey begins on a simple path, long before you ever reach the horizon. |
You have just finished looking at someone else's success online. Someone has launched a business. Someone bought a house. Someone got promoted. Someone is traveling. Someone your age seems to have figured everything out.
You close your phone.
The room becomes quiet.
And one thought appears:
"What am I doing with my life?"
I know that feeling.
I have felt it in places my younger self could never have imagined reaching.
I was born in a village in Nepal where there was no electricity, no telephone, and no paved road. I once thought simply leaving that village would change everything.
It didn't.
I crossed borders. I saw cities I had only imagined. I lived in Singapore, London, Lisbon, and Brugge.
But I discovered something strange.
You can change your country and still carry the same comparison inside your head.
It took me years to understand something important. I had been comparing the first pages of my story with pages someone else had spent years writing. I had been looking at their Chapter 20 and judging myself in Chapter 1.
That comparison was never fair.
This article is for anyone who has ever felt behind. For anyone who has looked at someone else's life and felt like they were failing. For anyone who is still writing their Chapter 1 and wondering if they will ever reach Chapter 20.
The Night Comparison Gets Inside Your Head
Comparison doesn't always scream. Sometimes it whispers. And that whisper can slowly change how someone sees themselves.
The thoughts come quietly:
Why am I not there yet?
Why are they successful?
Why am I still struggling?
Did I waste my time?
Am I not talented enough?
Did I make the wrong choices?
What if I never catch up?
These thoughts settle into your chest like a weight. Heavy. Dense. Unshakable.
You start to question everything. Your decisions. Your abilities. Your worth. Your future.
And the saddest part? You are not even comparing yourself to the same person. You are comparing your invisible struggles to their visible success. Your quiet doubts to their loud achievements. Your messy reality to their polished highlight reel.
Someone else's success can make you question your own worth if you forget how different your journeys have been.
You Are Looking at Their Chapter 20
Here is the truth that changed everything for me.
When you look at someone else's life, you are often seeing their Chapter 20.
You see their successful business. Their beautiful home. Their happy marriage. Their impressive career. Their loyal audience. Their unshakeable confidence. Their shiny achievements.
But you do not see the years that came before.
You do not see their first failed attempt. The years of learning. The rejection letters. The financial struggles. The uncertainty. The mistakes. The sleepless nights. The people who helped them. The opportunities they received. The sacrifices they made.
You do not see the tears. The doubts. The moments they wanted to quit. The nights they cried alone. The days they felt like giving up.
You are looking at their Chapter 20 while judging yourself in Chapter 1.
And that comparison was never fair.
"We see the photograph. We don't see the years that made the photograph possible."
Not Everyone Starts From the Same Place
Some people begin with a map. Others begin by trying to find the road.
Some people grow up with clearer paths, supportive networks, and people they can ask for help. Others grow up thinking about something much simpler: how do we get through this month?
I know the difference because I have lived on the other side of it.
Different starting points produce different timelines. That is not an excuse. It is reality.
And when you understand that, you stop comparing your beginning to someone else's middle.
Some Chapters Are About Surviving
Sometimes your Chapter 1 wasn't about building a business. It was about surviving.
Maybe you were trying to feed your family. Raising children. Looking after parents. Working a job you didn't love. Recovering from failure. Learning a new language. Moving to another country. Dealing with financial pressure. Simply trying to get through the day.
And someone else was building their career.
That doesn't make you less successful. You were writing a different chapter.
"You cannot fairly call yourself behind when you were busy surviving things other people may never have had to face."
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| Looking out at a wider world while remembering the quiet roots you came from. |
Then I Think About My Parents
Whenever I start feeling behind, I sometimes think about where I came from.
My mother is over 70. She has never seen Kathmandu properly. She knows only our village. She knows only farms, animals, our small home, our family. A small world.
But she never complains.
When I call her, she always says, "I am fine." But sometimes I hear something behind those words. A tiredness she doesn't talk about. A loneliness she rarely mentions.
She cannot read. She cannot write. She only knows how to receive a phone call. The world outside our village is foreign to her.
And yet, she is the strongest person I have ever known.
My father has crossed 75. He studied in India a long time ago. But he has never flown in an airplane. He has never left Nepal. He has never watched a live football match in person.
He loves football. The World Cup was just over, and he watched many matches on TV. But he has never felt the energy of a stadium or experienced a match surrounded by thousands of people.
I dream of taking him to a stadium. Bayern Munich. Barcelona. PSG. Even the Club Brugge ground here in Belgium. Just to see his eyes light up. Just to give him a memory he never had.
A few days ago, my parents told me their television had stopped working. It had already been more than ten days. A friend from the village went to check.
The television was fine. The remote control battery was simply dead.
Everyone laughed when they found out. I laughed too.
But after the laughter, I became quiet. Because something about that small incident stayed with me.
It reminded me how different our worlds have become. Things that are automatic to me can still feel unfamiliar to them.
And suddenly I wasn't thinking about someone else's Chapter 20 anymore. I was thinking about the people who helped write my Chapter 1.
Social Media Hides the Journey
Social media compresses years into seconds.
You might see:
"I made my first million."
But you don't see years 1 through 10.
You see:
"I launched my company."
But you don't see the failed businesses before it.
You see:
"Dream house completed."
But you don't see the years of saving, debt, family support, or sacrifice behind it.
The internet gives us conclusions without context. It shows us arrivals without showing the journey. It presents success without revealing the struggle.
That is why comparison becomes so dangerous.
You are not comparing your life to their life. You are comparing your behind-the-scenes to their carefully curated highlight reel. You are comparing your Chapter 1 to their Chapter 20.
And that comparison was never fair.
Their Success Isn't Evidence of Your Failure
Someone else's success does not prove you are failing.
Their promotion does not mean you are unsuccessful. Their relationship does not mean you are unlovable. Their house does not mean you are poor in life. Their business does not mean you are incapable. Their followers do not determine your worth. Their timeline does not define yours.
"Someone else's progress is not proof of your failure."
Let that sink in.
You are not less because someone else is more. You are not behind because someone else is ahead. You are not failing because someone else is succeeding.
Their story is theirs. Yours is yours. And the two are not in competition.
Measure Your Growth Differently
Instead of asking:
"Am I ahead of them?"
Ask:
- Am I wiser than I was last year?
- Am I more disciplined?
- Am I learning?
- Am I taking better care of myself?
- Am I making better decisions?
- Am I closer to the life I want?
- Did I keep going?
Your most meaningful comparison is not with another person's Chapter 20. It is with the person you were yesterday.
Your Timeline Is Not a Deadline
Some people achieve certain things at 20. Others at 30, 40, 50, or 60.
Life isn't an exam where everyone receives the same question paper and the same deadline. Your timeline is influenced by your starting point, responsibilities, opportunities, choices, mistakes, and circumstances.
The goal isn't to arrive at the same age as someone else. The goal is to keep moving toward a life that means something to you.
Your Chapter 1 Deserves Respect
My first chapter didn't look impressive.
It looked like a village without electricity. It looked like parents who had never travelled beyond Nepal. It looked like dreams that were too small because I had never seen how large the world was.
But it was still my beginning.
Everyone who built something had a beginning. Every successful writer wrote a bad first sentence. Every successful business started with uncertainty. Every confident person once felt inexperienced. Every expert was once a beginner.
"Chapter 1 isn't supposed to look like Chapter 20. That's why it's Chapter 1."
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| You don't need to run someone else's race. You just need to keep taking steps in your own shoes. |
That is not a failure. That is a beginning. And every beginning is beautiful in its own way.
Turn Comparison Into Curiosity
Instead of asking:
"Why don't I have what they have?"
Ask:
"What can I learn from what they have built?"
Comparison can become curiosity.
Someone else's success can become inspiration. Evidence that something is possible. A source of ideas. Motivation to learn. A reminder to keep going.
But don't copy their timeline. Learn from their journey.
Your 7-Day Chapter 1 Challenge
Day 1: Find your comparison trigger. Write down the account, platform, person, or situation that makes you feel behind.
Day 2: Remember your progress. Write down three things your younger self would be proud of.
Day 3: Choose your Chapter 1 goal. Pick one meaningful goal for the next 90 days.
Day 4: Learn. Spend 30 focused minutes developing one skill connected to that goal.
Day 5: Act. Do one thing you've been postponing because you're afraid of failing.
Day 6: Look backward. Write one page about where you started and how far you've come.
Day 7: Write forward. Write one page describing what you want your life to look like 90 days from now, then choose the first action you will take tomorrow.
Your Chapter Is Still Being Written
Maybe today you are struggling.
Maybe your life doesn't look impressive.
Maybe nobody is applauding.
Maybe you're starting again at an age when you thought you should already have everything figured out.
But the story isn't finished.
You don't know what Chapter 10 looks like. You don't know who you will meet. You don't know what you will learn. You don't know which small decision today might change your future.
"You are judging yourself from a page that is still being written."
Let that breathe.
One Day, You'll Look Back at This Chapter
Imagine the future version of yourself looking back.
Maybe you'll remember:
- The tiny room.
- The uncertainty.
- The rejection.
- The nights you questioned yourself.
- The days you felt behind.
- The moments you almost quit.
And perhaps you'll realize:
That chapter wasn't proof that you were failing. It was the chapter where you began.
Conclusion: Write Your Chapter
Maybe one day, I will take my father to that stadium.
Maybe I will sit beside him and watch him look around at thousands of people cheering for the same game he once watched alone on a small television in our village.
Maybe by then, I will understand that I was never as behind as I thought.
I was simply taking a different road.
And maybe you are too.
So don't be ashamed of your Chapter 1.
Don't hate yourself because someone else is on Chapter 20.
Their story is theirs.
Yours is yours.
You don't need to skip chapters.
You just need to keep writing.
One page at a time.
Because the chapter you're living today may someday become the chapter you are most proud of.
Thank you for reading. 🙏
- Bitty
Belgium 🇧🇪
21 August 2026
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